Why do I go mute in groups?

When you’re with just a couple of friends, the fear of social judgment can disappear completely. You’re right to point out that we tend to feel more in control in one-on-one social situations with someone we’re familiar with. Things change when you find yourself in a group, especially if you have a somewhat introverted personality. There’s a lot to juggle, whether that’s the melodramatic members of the group who will loudly have their say on every topic under discussion, the worry that you’ll make a joke that bombs, or the fear that you’ll say the wrong thing and lose points with your new pals. The problem is that you can become preoccupied by the impression you’re trying to make. The more you mull it over, the more estranged from the group you can become. That feeling of pressure is dependent on how much awareness we have of ourselves, how balanced we feel as individuals, and how much importance we place on the judgement of others. Being quiet and taking things in is fundamental with regards to understanding the group and how to act within it.

Selective mutism is a condition that makes you unable to talk in certain situations because of fear or anxiety. It’s likely to start in childhood around school age but can also affect teens and adults. It’s important to remember that children who have it aren’t being disobedient or stubborn, and SM isn’t something they can control by themselves.