What does avoidance behavior look like?

Avoidance Type: Passive-Aggressive Avoidance You already know what this avoidance looks like. I describe it as someone throwing a grenade into a situation and leaving you without any course for a solution. These types of avoidance behaviors go hand in hand with avoiding a conversation, avoiding accountability, and avoiding any reflection on their role in any given situation. These behaviors look like contempt, dismissal, and walls between themselves and the issue or conversation they are avoiding. Avoidance Type: Fearful Avoidance People with fearful avoidance habits act in ways that stem from, you guessed it: fear—fear of retaliation, exclusion, or hurting and being hurt. Avoidance Type: Conscious Avoidance Where the first two avoidance types are reactionary, conscious avoidance comes from a responsive place. The avoidant person is actively choosing to disengage and avoid a situation. Conscious avoidance may result from deciding it is not worth the energy or battle they anticipate in the issue. The relationship is not worth saving. And feelings of powerlessness are present here as well. But instead of seeking to gain power or control over a person or situation, conscious avoidance comes from a place of reclaiming your internal power and guarding your peace. For example, let us say you live in a smaller town with limited employment options, and your current situation is such that you cannot obtain the desired employment. For conscious avoiders, a position of acceptance may look like this: You accept the case for what it is and instead choose to focus on what you need to do to show up as your best self in your current role.

Avoiding job-related activities that involve working with others because they fear others will criticize or reject them. Being unwilling to get involved with others unless they’re sure others will like them. Being passive or reserved in close relationships because they fear ridicule or humiliation. Extreme worry about others criticizing or rejecting them in regular social situations. Feeling self-conscious in new social situations because they feel inadequate. Assessing themselves as socially unskilled, unappealing or inferior to others. Being reluctant to take personal risks or try new activities because they may feel embarrassed.