Is at your earliest convenience passive aggressive?
Emelia Mitchell
2025-08-01 15:28:44
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Just checking in is a standard phrase used to start an email that’s intended to ask someone for a response or follow-up action in a friendly, informal way. However, it’s a cliché opening that can come across as passive-aggressive, so we recommend avoiding it in favor of a more direct opening like We previously discussed. In a more personal context, you might encounter just checking in as part of a longer phrase such as I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing. In this case, it’s not asking the other person to do anything but rather asking about their well-being in a friendly way.
Shad Kertzmann
2025-07-24 12:35:51
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Other passive-aggressive phrases are “just to clarify,” “just circling back,” “as previously discussed,” “thanks for the input,” “just a few things,” “a friendly reminder,” and “at your earliest convenience.”
Younger workers say these messages sound aggressive, condescending and rude.
For instance, “per my last email” reads to them as “why didn’t you read it the first time.”
“Hope this helps,” means to “never ask for anything again.”
“Thank you for your feedback,” is like saying “your criticism is totally incorrect.”
HR experts say there are some preemptive steps you can take to make sure your intent is understood.
First, decide if the topic is better suited for face-to-face conversation.
If your message is one that can be relayed over email, re-read the words, and think about tone and potential reception.
Nakia Johnston
2025-07-24 10:17:38
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At your earliest convenience is not explicitly mentioned in the list of passive-aggressive email phrases.
1️⃣ "Per my last email..." ↳ Translation: I already told you this, you lazy idiot.
2️⃣ "As previously discussed..." ↳ Translation: You clearly weren't paying attention in that meeting you charged your phone through.
3️⃣ "Just following up..." ↳ Translation: Why are you ghosting me? Do your damn job.
However, phrases like "I'm sure you're very busy, but..." can be related to the idea of urgency or convenience.
4️⃣ "I'm sure you're very busy, but..." ↳ Translation: Whatever you're doing can't possibly be more important than my request.
Because nothing disarms passive-aggression like radical professionalism.
The sender has chosen violence, just with perfect punctuation.
Reply with facts only
Keep responses short
Document everything
Kill them with genuine kindness
Tremayne Gutmann
2025-07-24 08:44:12
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It seems overly dramatic, as if to say: I need this so badly and urgently that I don’t even have time to write out a softer-sounding alternative, such as “as soon as you can get to it,” “at your earliest convenience,” etc.
At your earliest convenience is mentioned as a softer-sounding alternative to ASAP.
It is one of the options that the writer suggests could be used instead of ASAP to convey a sense of urgency without being overly dramatic.
Some people may perceive at your earliest convenience as a more polite way of making a request.
At your earliest convenience is not mentioned as being annoying or offensive in the text.
It’s far more useful for people to spell out what they really mean, rather than using vague terms like ASAP.
Using a phrase like at your earliest convenience can be more helpful in conveying a sense of when something is needed.
However, it is not explicitly stated whether at your earliest convenience is passive-aggressive or not.
It is simply presented as a more polite alternative to ASAP.
Maryam Dibbert
2025-07-24 07:15:33
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At your earliest convenience is a phrase that can come across as passive-aggressive. Feel free to cry at your desk at the earliest convenience. It is a way of phrasing a request that can make the recipient feel like they are being told what to do, rather than being asked to do something. Some phrases are used to create fear or to dump responsibility on to someone else. They make the recipient feel like they are being controlled or manipulated. I am phrasing this as a question because screaming makes me look deranged.
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