How to ask someone to do something without being pushy?
Ola Barrows
2025-07-24 08:41:38
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: 14
So what’s a better way to ask someone for something. Frame your request as a hypothetical. Let’s revisit the example using hypothetical phrasing: “We’re moving to a new city. If you happen to know any moving companies, I’d be grateful for any suggestions”. This time around, the request is no longer a demand. Instead, the request is presented merely as a possibility. We aren’t assuming the recipient knows moving companies. We are simply letting them know that, should they be aware of any options, we’d appreciate their input. So the key operating phrase here is “If you happen to.” Moreover, we reinforce this hypothetical sentiment by closing with “I’d be grateful for any suggestions”, which is much less demanding than saying “please let me know”. I’d be grateful for is not a request. It’s really just an FYI that you are on the lookout for suggestions. When it’s phrased this way, the recipient will eagerly present their ideas if they have any, and they won’t feel guilty if they don't. And as you probably noticed, “If you happen to...” is a great phrase for doing that. But there are other excellent options, like “Would you mind if...” or “Would it be possible to...” Sure, this phrasing might be a touch more wordy, but it almost universally achieves better results and gives people a better impression of you.
Kyler Russel
2025-07-24 06:53:18
Count answers
: 15
Take the “Zero Pressure” Approach, zero pressure isn’t the same as not caring, it’s just about acknowledging the other person has their own values, priorities, commitments and perspective that might not match ours. Whether or not the other person says “yes” to our request isn’t under our control. I don’t know about you, but times when I’ve been on the receiving end of a pressured ask where it feels like I just.have. to. say. yes. are not feel-good times. However urgent it might feel in the moment, we don’t usually need the other person to agree to our request for everything to be OK.
Connect and Be Human, while we don’t want to be slimy or insincere, taking a brief moment to connect with the other person first before launching into a request can make all the difference. In a professional context, this might look like letting the other person know what you admire or appreciate about them/their work.
Show Your Enthusiasm, this one is simple but it makes a huge difference, I know that when I’ve been genuinely enthusiastic about making a request, and let that enthusiasm show, the other person has been more likely to say yes—especially when I can communicate why I’m enthusiastic.
Approaching these asks with high involvement and low attachment has helped me, we need to be involved, go the extra mile, make the effort, but ultimately recognise that whether the other person says yes is totally not up to us. When I go into requests without being attached to a specific outcome, the interaction is a much more pleasant experience.
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