Does timeout work for kids with ADHD?

Does time-out work for ADHD, not the way we hope. Time-out is meant to give kids space to calm down and think about what they've done. But ADHD doesn’t work that way. When your child is dysregulated, they’re not in a place to reflect. Their brain is in survival mode. They’re not thinking, “I made a mistake.” They’re thinking, “No one gets me,” or worse, “I’m a bad kid.” Why is time-out not effective, because what ADHD kids need most in those tough moments is connection, not rejection.

Unfortunately, using a time-out as a punitive method with kids diagnosed with ADHD may turn out to be counterproductive. Two prominent researchers, Thomas Zentall, Ph.D., and Sydney Zentall, Ph.D., have commented the effects of time-outs: In general, time-out periods appear to be aversive to hyperactive children. If isolation really has a calming effect on hyperactive children, one would expect to see reduced activity during the time-out periods. However, we noted increased rather than decreased activity levels. This may occur due to the need for many under-aroused kids to create their own stimulation in a place that has very low levels of stimulation. Even if a punitive time-out controls a child’s behavior in the short run, it may come at the cost of the child’s self-respect. Child discipline expert Jane Nelsen, Ed.D., counsels parents to tell kids that it can be helpful to have a place where they can go when they feel upset or out of control. To those skeptical about the positive time-out, Nelsen insists that it can work if parents give the tactic enough time, and if they adopt a positive attitude of encouragement and respect for their child. A positive time-out gives kids a way to get a grip on their own behavior, and allows them to take a role in becoming capable people. Where did we ever get the crazy idea that to make children do better, we must first make them feel worse.