How to spot the red flags of bullying?

If a student is being bullied at school they may become aggressive and unreasonable, start to get into fights, refuse to talk about what is wrong, have unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches, particularly those appearing after recess or lunch, have missing or damaged belongings or clothes, have falling school grades, be alone often or excluded from friendship groups at school, show a change in their ability or willingness to speak up in class, appear insecure or frightened, be a frequent target for teasing, mimicking or ridicule. A parent may observe changes in their child’s behaviour at home which they can report to the school. Their child may have trouble getting out of bed, not want to go to school, change their method or route to school or become frightened of walking to school, change their sleeping or eating patterns, have frequent tears, anger, mood swings and anxiety, have unexplained bruises, cuts and scratches, have stomach aches or unexplained pain, have missing or damaged belongings or clothes, ask for extra pocket money or food, arrive home hungry, show an unwillingness to discuss, or secrecy about, their online communication.

MBF Prevention Education Programs help youth learn to identify potential Red Flags and see warning signs that might indicate a situation is unsafe or that someone needs help from a Safe Adult. Bullying Red Flags: Unexplainable injuries Lost or damaged clothing, books, electronics, jewelry, or other belongings Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick, or pretending to be ill to avoid school Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating Comes home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch Difficulty sleeping/nightmares Declining grades or lost interest in schoolwork Sudden loss of friends or avoiding social situations Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide. Cyberbullying Red Flags: Receives an excessive amount of email or text messages Spends large amounts of time online, especially at night or when alone Anxious or nervous about receiving texts, instant messages, or emails Quickly exits computer or cell phone when parent or caregiver approaches Unwilling to share information about online activities Unexplained anger or depression, especially after going online Withdrawing from friends and family Doesn’t want to go to school Unexplained stomach aches or headaches Trouble sleeping at night Unexplained weight loss or gain Suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts. Child Abuse Red Flags: Physical Abuse Injuries and explanations of injury do not match Fearful, angry, or sad Lack of interest in normal activities Fearful of adult contact or avoids a particular parent or caregiver Decline in grades/lack of interest in school Nervous, withdrawn, clingy, tries to please caregiver Hostile, aggressive, violent, self-destructive Complains of soreness/physical or psychosomatic illness Shows little or no emotion when hurt. When Spotting Red Flags, it is important to remember the presence of red flags does not prove abuse, neglect, or bullying is happening, however, they MIGHT indicate some type of victimization is occurring, and it is wise to seek more information.

Signs that may point to a bullying problem are: Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide. Kids may be bullying others if they: Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently Have unexplained extra money or new belongings Blame others for their problems Don’t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity. Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs. It is important to talk with children who show signs of being bullied or bullying others. These warning signs can also point to other issues or problems, such as depression or substance abuse. Talking to the child can help identify the root of the problem.

Unexplained injuries, damaged belongings, or frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches may indicate physical bullying. Changes in your child's communication, such as sudden reluctance to speak or unexplained emotional distress, can be signs of verbal bullying. Sudden isolation from friends or social groups may indicate social bullying. Reluctance to use electronic devices, sudden withdrawal from social media, or changes in online behaviour can be signs of cyberbullying. Discriminatory behaviour or language directed at your child based on their race, religion, gender, or other personal characteristics may indicate prejudicial bullying. Be vigilant for sudden shifts in your child's online behaviour, as it may be a sign of online bullying. If your child becomes secretive about their online interactions, such as hiding screens or quickly switching tabs, it could indicate they're facing bullying. Persistent emotional distress, mood swings, or sudden changes in your child's emotional well-being may be linked to online bullying experiences.assistant Unexplained injuries, damaged belongings, or frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches may indicate physical bullying. Changes in your child's communication, such as sudden reluctance to speak or unexplained emotional distress, can be signs of verbal bullying. Sudden isolation from friends or social groups may indicate social bullying. Reluctance to use electronic devices, sudden withdrawal from social media, or changes in online behaviour can be signs of cyberbullying. Discriminatory behaviour or language directed at your child based on their race, religion, gender, or other personal characteristics may indicate prejudicial bullying. Be vigilant for sudden shifts in your child's online behaviour, as it may be a sign of online bullying. If your child becomes secretive about their online interactions, such as hiding screens or quickly switching tabs, it could indicate they're facing bullying. Persistent emotional distress, mood swings, or sudden changes in your child's emotional well-being may be linked to online bullying experiences.assistant Unexplained injuries, damaged belongings, or frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches may indicate physical bullying. Changes in your child's communication, such as sudden reluctance to speak or unexplained emotional distress, can be signs of verbal bullying. Sudden isolation from friends or social groups may indicate social bullying. Reluctance to use electronic devices, sudden withdrawal from social media, or changes in online behaviour can be signs of cyberbullying. Discriminatory behaviour or language directed at your child based on their race, religion, gender, or other personal characteristics may indicate prejudicial bullying. Be vigilant for sudden shifts in your child's online behaviour, as it may be a sign of online bullying. If your child becomes secretive about their online interactions, such as hiding screens or quickly switching tabs, it could indicate they're facing bullying. Persistent emotional distress, mood swings, or sudden changes in your child's emotional well-being may be linked to online bullying experiences.assistant Unexplained injuries, damaged belongings, or frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches may indicate physical bullying. Changes in your child's communication, such as sudden reluctance to speak or unexplained emotional distress, can be signs of verbal bullying. Sudden isolation from friends or social groups may indicate social bullying. Reluctance to use electronic devices, sudden withdrawal from social media, or changes in online behaviour can be signs of cyberbullying. Discriminatory behaviour or language directed at your child based on their race, religion, gender, or other personal characteristics may indicate prejudicial bullying. Be vigilant for sudden shifts in your child's online behaviour, as it may be a sign of online bullying. If your child becomes secretive about their online interactions, such as hiding screens or quickly switching tabs, it could indicate they're facing bullying. Persistent emotional distress, mood swings, or sudden changes in your child's emotional well-being may be linked to online bullying experiences.

Any child or young person can be bullied for any reason. Children can be bullied if they are perceived to be an ‘easy target’, or different in some way, for example because of their: Disability Race or ethnicity Gender Sexual orientation Background or home life Low self-esteem, anxiety, shyness, or lack of assertiveness. No single indicator will tell you that your child is definitely being bullied, but there are some signs to look out for, including: Belongings getting lost or damaged Coming home with physical injuries, like unexplained bruises Torn clothes Being afraid to go to school Being mysteriously ‘ill’ each morning Skipping school Doing less well at school Being nervous or losing confidence Becoming quiet and withdrawn Asking for or stealing money (to give to bullies) Problems eating or sleeping Bullying other children.

Part of the problem is that bullies sometimes don’t even realise that they are bullies.