How to stop tolerating other people's bad behavior?
Linda Littel
2025-06-28 19:14:32
Count answers: 6
You must be assertive in order to effect change, otherwise, you will remain stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship. If you can’t or won’t tell your partner their behavior is unacceptable you are complicit in allowing them to carry on as they have which is abusing you. Give your partner the opportunity to make the necessary adjustments. Give them time to demonstrate either their ability or incapability to make those adjustments. If change isn’t happening determine whether there is a “can’t” or “won’t” factor. For a relationship to work, the people involved need to learn to self-soothe in stressful situations. Healthy relationships do not tolerate abuse of any kind; instead, they encourage open communication where the partners can freely express their thoughts and feelings and ask for what they need and want without being shamed or punished for it. If your partner is acting out, ask yourself why you’re in that relationship. You can’t control or change anyone but yourself; if you think otherwise, you may be “codependent” and will need help managing that. Codependent people tolerate bad behavior for a variety of reasons; fear of abandonment, fear of the grief and loss process, low self-esteem and self-worth, etc.
Morgan Fisher
2025-06-28 18:41:57
Count answers: 10
Not taking things personally vs tolerating bad behavior is a challenge. I have been working on not taking things personally, and I'm having a hard time balancing that goal with tolerating hurtful words and actions. It takes a ton of emotional energy to stay calm when people are disrespecting me or pushing my boundaries. I worry that not taking things personally gives people license to act out in relationships, because I can be counted on to be calm and patient. Understanding your attachment style will help you understand how and why we select our future partners. It will help you see our emotional patterns, your struggles with vulnerability, shame, and being afraid. It will help understand your needs and triggers.
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