How to curb reactivity?

Think about responding rather than reacting. This may involve reframing how you experience life. Tell yourself that you’re not the victim of circumstances, and you can choose how to respond when things don’t go your way. Take a breath, buy yourself a millisecond of time before you react. When you feel yourself about to explode or rage at a situation, take a deep breath and consider what’s really going on here. Get to know your triggers, this may take some time to work out what’s really irking you, but it can support you to become way less reactive. Replenish your energy, feeling drained and depleted can make you more reactive than normal because you have fewer energy supplies to draw on. Build activities into your week that will replenish rather than drain you. Re-phrase your script, instead of blaming other people, try owning your feelings and taking responsibility for them. Speak to a therapist, if your reactiveness is causing major issues, it may help to work through them with a professional.

Emotional regulation is the ability to have control over your emotional state. Usually, this involves using skills that decrease the intensity of emotions. For example, emotional regulation may involve actively noticing my feelings and practicing slow breathing when I feel fatigued and irritated so I do not act unhelpfully when irritable. Pausing is the ability to slow down and stop. Sometimes, this may mean physically stopping what you are doing at the moment or taking a few intentional, slow breaths. Pausing slows you down physically and emotionally and can help you notice your experience at the moment so you can make an intentional decision about a helpful way to act versus reacting automatically in a way that may not be helpful. Once you have paused and tuned into your internal experience, practicing slow breathing can decrease the intensity of emotions and nervous system activation and allow you to feel more control and choice over how you behave. One type of relaxation breathing is to lengthen your exhale intentionally. If, for example, you naturally inhale to about a count of three, you would practice exhaling slowly to a count of five or six. At times, simply the process of naming emotions can reduce their intensity. The more you practice these exercises when you are feeling generally calm, the more likely you will remember to use them when emotional intensity increases, and the more effective they will be.

To curb reactivity, consistently use reward-based training methods and keep them on a lead when needed. Choose quiet places and times for walks, when possible, to avoid triggers while you’re working on changing their emotions. If you encounter a trigger, calmly move your dog away, avoiding adding extra tension to the lead. Try luring them away with a tasty treat or favourite toy to play with. Reward calm behaviour. Practice focus training to help them pay attention to you. Learn to recognise your dog's body language, this will help you understand when they're feeling worried or frustrated. Speak to your vet to rule out any underlying medical conditions.