How close is too close to stand next to someone?
Kurt Daugherty
2025-07-14 18:01:27
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: 17
We run an exercise in our Building relationships and Customer Service workshops where we ask delegates to move across the room towards a partner and stop when they feel they are close enough. The majority stop at around 2-3 feet apart (about where you would stand to comfortably shake hands and chat to each other) but invariably someone will stop further away or closer than their partner would choose. What I consider to be an acceptable distance between us may not be the same as your acceptable distance and can lead to a dance across an office floor as I take a step away and you move forward. Remember too, if you’re taller than the other person they might need to stand a little further away, both because you may be too close but also to make it more comfortable to have eye contact. So don’t take it personally if someone takes a step back when they are talking to you. Unless it means you can’t hear each other anymore, let them decide on the distance between you. It may just be that they feel their personal space is being encroached. Don’t sit on desks or come and stand very close behind someone’s chair, just being where you are may make them feel uncomfortable, before you even open your mouth. Those of you in senior positions be careful that you don’t impose your preference on others.
Felix Romaguera
2025-07-07 02:47:17
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: 15
Edward T Hall coined the term ‘proxemics’ to describe our use of the space around us. He determined that we had 4 ‘space zones’: Intimate: 1-18 inches (1-46 cm), Personal: 1.5-4 feet (46-122 cm), Social: 4-12 feet (1.2 – 3.7 m), Public: 12-25 feet (3.7 – 7.6 m). So, you could use his table to figure out how close or how far to stand, or sit, when communicating with someone. Although it might vary from culture to culture. And from person to person.
Visual specialists, people who do a lot of their thinking in images, like lots of body space. Because they like to be able to see all of you. Head to toe. In one glance. Kinaesthetic specialists are the opposite. They want to be so close they can almost smell you.
You could use the table. Or you could instead use NLP. Rather than carry an imaginary ruler to calculate the number of millimetres distance we can figure out the proxemics thing through observation of how the other person is responding. Use Soft Eyes to gauge the subtle non-verbal reaction of the other person to your use of body space.
Celine Lind
2025-06-27 06:36:44
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: 20
We all have an invisible bubble of personal space—roughly four square feet surrounding us—that defines our comfort zone. The limits of this spatial boundary are influenced by personality, culture, and context. While some lean in to connect and engage, others instinctively step back to safeguard their mental peace. A close talker may be seeking connection or, at times, may simply be unaware—or even deliberately exert social power. Cultural and personality differences influence how we manage personal space. People from densely populated urban areas may become accustomed to smaller personal bubbles, but intrinsic personality traits play an even greater role. If someone’s proximity feels aggressive or overpowering, it’s likely a power play designed to intimidate. If someone stands too close to you, take cues from their apparent intent. For strangers, consider subtly stepping back or positioning an object such as a bag between you and them. Ultimately, managing personal space is about striking a balance between our need for connection and our boundaries, achieved through clear communication and mutual respect.
Palma Conroy
2025-06-27 06:04:06
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: 14
We are mindful of social distance expectations, whether cultural, social, or preventive post-pandemic. We are also aware of personal boundaries, and the reality that different people have different comfort zones, and do not appreciate “space invaders.” Yet in some situations, it appears that proximity can have a positive effect on first impressions, quality of interaction, and even generosity. Research explains the somewhat counterintuitive effects of getting close and personal in certain settings. Previous research demonstrates that closer physical distance increases compliance with a request from a stranger on the street. Our reaction might also depend on group membership. People seated alone in public were more likely to comply with a request from an in-group member over an out-group member at close and medium distances, but not at a far distance. The rationale suggested that out-group members create more interpersonal anxiety at close range, which decreases compliance. Personal space is personal, everyone has their own physical boundaries.
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